i got a dream

this film has re-inspired me..

one line of the film caught me so much:

” you don’t know nothing.  you don’t know what we gotta do.  you have us in here teaching us this grammer, and then we’ve got to go out there again… and what are you telling me about that eh?!  what are you doing in here that makes a damn difference to my life?? “

what am i doing that is making a damn bit of difference to people’s lifes?

“In search of brighter days, I ride through the maze of the madness,
Struggle is my address, where pain and crack lives,
Gunshots comin’ from sounds of Blackness,
Given this game with no time to practice,
Born on the Black list, told I’m below average,
A life with no cabbage,
That’s no money if you from where I’m from,
Funny, I just want some of your sun,
Dark clouds seem to follow me,
Alcohol that my pops swallowed bottled me,
No apology, I walk with a boulder on my shoulder,
It’s a Cold War - I’m a colder soldier,
Hold the same fight that made Martin Luther the King,
I ain’t usin’ it for the right thing,
In between Lean and the fiends, hustle and the schemes,
I put together pieces of a Dream
I still have one

I got a dream, we’re gonna work it out…

…My dream is to be free.”

- a dream, Common

here’s the trailor for the film…

 

good times

just home from a day spent up at the North Coast. KerryAnn has a couple of folks over from another country and so she’s been taking them on sightseeing tours of beautiful Northern Ireland! so there were a few of us when with her today for the banter!

it was such a great day - just to hang out with friends, walk and talk loads, laugh loads and eat good food. just really reminded me about how much i’ve got to be thankful for…they are a great bunch of friends who inspire me so much…they would do absolutely anything for you and totally inspire me in their walk and relationship with God, as well as their general attitude to and in life. i’d the privilege of spending a lot of time with them last year when i lived nearby and to be honest, they’ve each shaped me in new ways and i suppose i’ve forgotten it over the past year

so my lil lesson from today is that i’ve begun to take life way too much for granted, and not been able to see past some stuff in order to realise the abundance of good things God has blessed me with…and i need to be far more thankful each and every day….and i’m sorry for not being a more thankful person over the past while…

thank You Lord…from deep in my heart…thank You…

here’s a wee video and some photos of some of the day’s banter…

 

music is amazing when done right!

I know I know….I should be doing my report…but I got a little distracted and thought I’d post a blog about the man who has once of the most amazing voices I’ve ever heard….he’s wonderful…

Ladies and Gentlemen… Michael Buble…

 

it’s simple?

holy design
this place in time
that i might seek and find my God
my God

Lord i want to yearn for You
i want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord i want to yearn

Your joy is mine
yet why am i fine
with all my singing and bringing grain
in light of Him

oh You give life and breath
through Him You give all things
in Him we live and move
that’s why i sing

…my prayer…

 

i don’t know sometimes…

i was planning to write a blog just before i go to sleep and i was planning on it being a positive take on life as it is now in this week, even though i could complain. but, i’m not now. cuz now i just want to complain, so i’m not going to…too much. just ever had one of those days were life just sucks…when you think your doing what’s right and trying to retrieve something out of a crap situation, when in fact, what you’ve done now is wronger than before…and you upset people on both side…even though every bit of it was all out of your control. sums up my tues 4 march…which just got even better 5mins ago! or not.

but, on the other hand…today is tuesday. which means tomorrow is wednesday, and i like wednesdays.

wednesdays are the nights i get to chill out with Rick. i really appreciate him. a lot of times i take him for granted, but when i need a hug he’s there.

so i’m going to sleep and let another crappy tuesday end, and hope for a brighter wednesday. xx

 

football

i remember as a child trying to be daddy’s little girl and watching Spurs matches. but only ever on tv. but as i grew, my mum told me a was too much of a tomboy and stopped me watching, plus dad began to work to hard and stopped watching the full matches. i thought my days of liking football were over!

then along came rick. probably the most hilariously competitive, football loving boy (besides jonny)! so i was immediately “subjected” to watching match of the day or being told “we can’t go out tonight cuz the football’s on” or he’s at the match and i’m told “make sure you’re watching”. throughout these 7 years and this type of harrassment, i’ve managed to begin to like watching match of the day 2 (the too good too bad is great!!), don’t normally mind match of the day, and i’ve even managed to get to a friendly Northern Ireland match which i really enjoyed. but really, it’s only after yesterday that i really have begun to actually fall in love with football. and not only that, i had the priviledge of watching rick’s happiness that not only did one of his dreams to go to a Spurs match come true, but also to see them win (there’s only one keano! - did you know that his goal was his 100th for Tottenham…epic!) it was honestly the best day of my life so far!! in the words of rick, the day was like so:

“an early breakfast in wetherspoons, walking round the stadium, buying sarah a spurs shirt, a dodgy and greasy lunch in the hotspur cafe (!), the match itself, all the random photographs, sarah getting near enough stripped searched at random by the anti-terrorism branch, the result, all the walking, the meat platter i had for dinner, the random questions game, the nice relaxing late night dessert, match of the day, sleep.”

it was great!! and i got my first ever football shirt! love it! can’t wait to go back some day!!

to dare is to do…

 

life

life’s a funny thing. i just realised tonight how life can just alter completely due to one day…like the birth of a baby. it totally changes everything. wedding. job interview. moving away to uni. death. and just how much these things have impact on people around you too.

i was talking to my someone last week on the phone who i genuinely haven’t verbally talked to in about a year…or more! the odd text…but that’s been it. and i realised, i miss her voice in my life. and she isn’t the only voice i miss. people who i think back on who had a voice and had a say in my life, just barely don’t anymore. even people who i would have called a close friend.

i’m not sure i like this whole drifting thing. just drifting from being close to one person, and then another…wherever life drags you to be and the people around you in that. i was once told a friendship was for a time and season. i get times and seasons as it is biblical, but for people who have had a real impact, or been a support, or just carried a special place in your heart, is this a good enough answer to the apparent “drifting apart”? i guess i’m trying to figure if an ended or drifted friendship is something which glorifies God and makes Him smile. if it’s an unhealthy friendship, then i can see that it’s something God has. but if it’s a friendship which has been sharpening, like Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend”, then, are we just taking a half-assed approach to friendships?

but then…life does get really busy, working full-time definitely limits things.  so how are friendships maintained over time?

hmmm. what does it really mean to be journeying with people? what does it mean to live in community with those around you? and how do these work with the changing pace and rhythm of life? i guess loneliness has it’s time, and as a friend of mine said a while ago, “it might be that we go through those lonely times so we appreciate the company better”.

“even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall” Isaiah 40:30

 

blown away

i’ve heard this story over and over…but never has it truly hit me until i watched this…

this is an incredible story…

“Greater love has no one than this,

that he lay down his life for his friends.”

- John 15:13

 

in small ways but with big love

so i haven’t blogged in quite a while. with the lack of a working internet, i was just about getting on long enough to check my emails before it stopped working. but as of today, we have a working broadband…which is amazing.

i guess over the past few months i’ve been finding things quite tough. i’ve been struggling with some specific stuff but, i suppose just generally been finding life hard. i’ve been trying to take life less seriously in the regard of just chilling out about stuff more. but the more i sit in an office working, the more my mind continually wanders to others. i think about people whose lives are really tough - lack of food, no money, parents dead from aids or other illness or lack of care, homeless, orphans, alcoholics, drug addicts…how is what i’m doing day in and day out helping them? how is what i do making a difference? they need someone, they need God, and i just feel so helpless. i want my life to count. i want my life to share God’s love and hope with those who really find life so so hard. those little kids who just don’t know what being loved means. those teenagers whose initial reaction when they find life getting tough is drink, drugs or suicide. there is so many people in this world, even in this country, who need help. and i’m not sure where graphic design fits into this.

i know i love it. but i know i love people more. i know God’s given me it and wants to use it. but i know He wants to preach good news to the poor, bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, release from darkness for the prisoners,to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (isa 61)

something about these verses just grasp me. and since i bought Foy Vance’s album (which is awesome!!)…the two songs on that which have just made me think and i guess have really started to put growth on foundations lay through Worship Ireland are Gabriel and the Vagabond and Indiscriminate Acts of Kindness. both things talked about in both songs are so simple. speaking hope into one guy’s life, and giving a girl a room for the night even tho she couldn’t pay for it. around 100 people on our doorsteps will commit a misdemeanour just to get into prison for Christmas simply for a bed, heat, food and company. prison. why is this happening when church halls/churches/youth rooms/whatever else rooms lie empty?

i don’t know if i’m being unreasonable or thinking too much about this, i probably am, but something in me just aches for these people. for the Ali’s, Ra’s, Jerry and Kelly’s…i have no idea where they or anyone else i’ve met are or whether they are ok. but i’ve no idea how to help other than pray. but there’s still a big part of me while praying wonders if i can be the answer to my own prayers.

i know helping in masses is probably not reasonable, but within a classroom is, within a drop in centre is… “in small ways with big love”.

i don’t know, i guess i’ve just been spending a lot of time thinking about life and where i fit into it. i’m still searching and wondering. but it still rings true, i want earth to meet heaven through me.

 

home home home

Leaving your room in a mess and dandering downstairs for a ready prepared full fry breakfast and by the time you finished eating, your room is perfectly tidy to the point your pjs are put below your pillow! Knowing that you will always have hot water whenever you fancy a shower, opening the sliding doors and walking down 60 steps onto the beach, absolutely beautiful views, knowing that your 3 course dinner will be on the table at 6. Life in a hotel rocks!

But, there’s nowhere quite like home although…with the hecticness of everything, maybe Jersey is better…!!

Was on the Donegal Team but left early to go on holidays to Jersey with my family and cousins for a week so that was all very beautiful and nice, then this week has been spent doing Spark preparations…headache!

Here’s a few pics from holidays…